||Director Lum's Daily Niam Geng||
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
5 years from now!!! How how how??
5 years from now, i will only be like 29??? I would only finish this NUS like at age 27... then i only can stay here and work for 2 years?? How is it that i possible earn enough money...i need to repay all my debts!!! i owed debts!!!... then what about my parents?? If really go then what will happen to them bring them over... would they like it? Leave them behind i am being heartless!!... I just dont feel like going so early... not when my parents are still alive. If my parents do want to migrate i will be more than happy to do it.
Secondly, all the friends are here in Singapore, how?? Over at a new country is just like starting all over again.. being reborn!!... Everything is new, you have to adapt to a whole new environment and culture... I know Ah Qi has some relatives there...
Then poor me how??? i am forced to stay here leh!!!! I have to leave Ah Qi... She going over... i asked her to stay behind with me... yes i am selfish... after a few years then we will go over and join her family... she rejected me flat!!!... FLAT!!! she says... she wanna be with her family... she cannot live without them... haizx... then how?? i love her... but then she going to go over in 5 years!!!.... its soon.. its damn soon... how?? i am so in a dilemma!!!
If i can go over with her thats the best!! But i cant... i have to take care of business here... haizx... how i also dont know... I proposed that we shall get marry before she goes then after that i will continue staying here in Singapore, but then she says why get married if u are not going over with me??.. i was like stunned!!... At least there will be a marriage bond between us... better than being single right?? much much better... But she rejected me again...Damn sian damn damn sian!!!
Another point is if i ever go over with her family, at the age of 29... supposedly i have worked from 27 - 29...those money i earned minus off my debts will still not be enough... if i ever go over there... i will be like living off her family.. i have to go and find a job over there start over again... haizx....
Then if my parents is going over as well.. then how?? They will be bored to death!!... I cant be such an unfilial son as to force them over!!.. I cant... will tian da lei pi de... I really dont know... I just dont feel like going over.. I dont wanna be seen as living off her family...
I am just in a dilemma... was thinking when i was showering.. if that day of Ah Qi migrating draws even nearer then what will happen?? How how how??
If you are me... what will you do?? I cant just leave my parents behind... i cant i know i cannot do it... i have to take care of them... icant trust anyone in taking care of them... not even my sister... i cant i cant icant!!! I dont know la... sounds so sad.. so moody... its 5 years from now... but is near!!!
Its like the end of the world... i am being teared apart... my parents myself or ah qi??? Argh!!!!!!! This is like if your mum and gf falls into the reservoir who will you save first???? Can i instead ask them to save me by not falling into the reservoir??? Basket!!!
[xXx] 9:59 PM <|||||CrOwN mE tHe BeSt DiReCtOr||||||>